Practicing What I Preach: A Loss Therapist in NYC Reflects on Her Own Sudden Grief
Author: Natalie Greenberg, LCSW
A few weeks ago, I woke up to a sinking message: a high school classmate had died suddenly at home in an accident.
We weren’t close – more acquaintances than friends – but we had a close mutual friend, her best friend. I think I saw her once or twice since high school graduation. I searched her name in my email and reread exchanges about babysitting gigs in our early twenties. In one from 2011, she remarked how strange it felt to see some of our peers getting married already. We were still kids ourselves. Then, the emails faded.
I’ve been turning this over in my head ever since. Today’s blog isn’t full of tips or insights; it’s more of a journal entry, a way to process what I’m feeling. And if I’m honest, it’s about trying to follow the same guidance I offer as a loss therapist during grief therapy sessions.
The Grief You Don’t Expect
After my mom died by suicide, I became hyper-aware of how people talk (or don’t talk) about death, especially when it comes to asking about the cause. Who gets to know? Who needs to know? Sometimes people ask outright. Sometimes they tiptoe. I’ve gotten better at answering plainly and honestly, but I still flinch at the question. I understand the curiosity. We want things to make sense. If we know the cause, maybe we can tell ourselves it’s preventable, distant from us. Safe.
The phrase “accident at home” sent me into a spiral. I Googled causes of accidental deaths in the home: carbon monoxide, stairs, poison, fires, choking. I mentally walked through each possibility, trying them on myself like outfits. Was I careful enough with medications? Is the battery dead in the smoke detector? Could I fall off a stool in the kitchen? This wasn’t helpful, this was an accident.
I didn’t tell many people that week. I carried the news quietly, privately. I’d be out at dinner, or on a walk with a friend, and it would hit me: the shock, the sadness, the stomach drop. But I didn’t want to interrupt the moment with grief that felt too far removed. We weren’t close, after all. Was it even appropriate to bring it up and bring down the mood?
And then that familiar voice kicked in: You’re a grief therapist. Aren’t you supposed to model this? Aren’t you always telling clients that we don’t grieve based on the depth of the relationship, but on the depth of the impact?
Was I avoiding it? Compartmentalizing too much? Being too selfish by relating to what happened and envisioning myself in her shoes?
Practicing What I Preach as a Loss Therapist in NYC
What I couldn’t stop thinking about was her best friend, our mutual friend. I don’t know what their friendship looked like recently, but in high school, they were each other’s person. And now, just a few months before our 20-year high school reunion, one of them is gone. I kept texting our friend every few days and checking in. I needed her to know she was on my mind.
She had a husband. She had children. This is the part where my grief gets tangled with fear. I feel sick to think about a child growing up without their mother. Especially young children, who don’t yet have the language to process a loss so big. It feels like a tear in the natural order of things.
So I did what I encourage others to do: I took a day off work. I went to therapy. I got a foot massage. I sat under the blooming magnolia trees. I saw a play with a new friend. I made postpartum breakfast sandwiches for my best friend. I wrote this blog.
Sometimes following my own grief advice means slowing down, letting myself feel without fixing, resisting the urge to explain or make it make sense. Sometimes it just means making space. Letting the grief be there. Letting the memories rise and pass. Saying their name quietly to myself. Thinking of their children. Thinking of her friend.
You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone: Begin Grief Therapy in New York
Grief has no timeline, and even when we support others through it, our own losses can feel just as disorienting. If you're navigating sudden grief or the quiet weight of ongoing loss, you deserve a space to process, reflect, and feel supported.
As a loss therapist in NYC, I offer compassionate, personal guidance for those walking through the pain of losing someone they love. Whether your grief is fresh or long-standing, there's space here for your story.
Here’s how to begin:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what you’re going through and how therapy may help.
Book your first grief therapy session and begin creating space to honor, feel, and heal at your own pace.
Receive support from someone who deeply understands the complexities of loss, from both sides of the couch.
About the Author: A Compassionate Loss Therapist in NYC
Natalie Greenberg, LCSW, is a compassionate grief therapist in New York City who works primarily with young adults facing the emotional challenges of loss. Her personal experience with the suicide of her mother at age 23 deeply shaped her path, leading her to find healing in therapy and community, and ultimately inspiring her to support others through their own grief. Natalie holds a Master’s in Social Work from New York University and a post-master’s certificate in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Over the past decade, she has served in diverse clinical settings, including Bellevue Hospital’s Psychiatric ER, Mount Sinai Hospital’s leadership team, and NYU’s Student Health Center. Today, she offers virtual grief therapy sessions to clients across New York, blending clinical expertise with warmth, empathy, and a touch of humor.